Teksquisite

 

I've always figured that you come into this world alone and you go out of it alone, so dependency is not an option for me. From as far back as I can remember I've done this world pretty much alone. I have no regrets. This is the way it has always been and potentially the way it will always be. I learned from a very young age that life and people in general can become one huge disappointment, if you let it become so. 

I am not a pessimist, perhaps more of a realist. When the chips go down and there is not another soul around, there may be words of "I'm here if you need me" or "Just give me a buzz" - I won't because I don't operate like that. I often will beat a dead dog deader than she/he has ever been simply because I am not going to call on you when my chips are down. EOF

 

 

 

 I woke up late and decided that I didn't want to do anything that smacked of getting ready for the day. I didn't feel like cooking breakfast either, so I drove to Dutch Brothers and grabbed a Kahlua Kicker and did a mad dash through a drive-thru for a breakfast burrito. I accomplished all of the above in the comfort of soft pajamas and a furry bath robe.  

I just got off the phone with a friend in Portland with a conversation that went something like this:

 

 

Friend: You drove in your pajamas, in your car to get food and coffee?

Me: Yes, I often like to drive in my car when driving, though I did drive incognito with big black sun glasses.

Friend: What if you got stopped by the cops or your car broke down or you had an accident?

Me: Hopefully it would not crush my burrito!

Friend: Seriously, people don't go out in public in their PAJAMAS!

Me: I didn't go out in public in my PAJAMAS! I was in my car!

Friend: Did you at least brush your hair?

Me: No. I wore a hat.

Friend: Interesting...

 

 

 

Old and New Chesterfield-Brattleboro Bridge

Otherwise known as The Route 9 Bridge over the Connecticut River

 

New England Note: I must have driven over this bridge approximately twenty-four hundred times when I worked in Vermont. It was passage from New Hampshire to Vermont (work) and back home to New Hampshire again. This was also a very popular "sobriety" checkpoint for Vermont State Police.

 

 

There is something about the "first snow" that brings out the kid in me. I always feel the urge to build a snowman, or create snow angels. Instead of doing what I really felt like doing tonight, I drank beer and took pictures instead. 

BTW universe, I am still mourning the theft of my test box. I hope the person that is using it now is currently residing in malware hell. Need I say more? Perhaps that person is monitoring my twitter stream? Pssst, hey Person, do you know what dogs do to fresh snow? My sentiments exactly! 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cool mural mural painted on the side of the Post Office building in the city of Rogue River, Oregon

 

Comfort acknowledged after a rough shift at the Psy

Sitting in the silent receptacle of my New England dining room,

Discomfort chortled at the neighbor with binoculars

Who frequently intruded on my private plane of thoughts.

You pig. Get a life. Don't go there...

 

Sometimes, neighbors are strange in New England

Peering out of thin blinds, while peering into thicker ones

Attempted peek at a life far more private, more sublime. 

Do you want me to fry an egg? Blend a smoothie?

Perhaps throw some boiled pasta at the ceiling?

Get a grip dude, your shame has not gone unnamed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Crisp New England Winters

BBQ on a hot summer night

Glass of red wine in hand

We danced...

 

I smelled your aftershave  

dysfunctional, declined invitation

We jousted, I won

You lost

 

Foliage only lasts so long

until the fall

decay, smell of musk

Hush baby, hush

 

It only lasts for a season

the flame

once extinguished

forever gone

 

 

Last night I dreamed that I was stopped on I5 by an Oregon State Trooper because my New Hampshire tags had expired. Shortly after I was pulled over, an elderly woman walked by and stopped to chat with the officer. Silently, their bodies moved away in unison as they whispered to each other. Strange. What was that old woman doing walking along the side of the freeway?

When finished with their private discussion, they silently approached me again. The woman remained stoic while the officer cited two options:

1. My car would be impounded if I did not take the lady home with me.
2. My car would not be impounded if I agreed to take the lady home with me.

I agreed to take the lady home with me. She climbed in to the car, buckled up and said "go." I put the car in drive and went. The passage of time is different in dreams -- less liquid, far more gaseous.

When I stopped the car, she unbuckled her seat belt and said "type." I asked her "what type?" She retorted "keyboard."

So here I am, huddled over my keyboard -- typing.

Type Out!

 

I didn't. I often hid out in the low stimulation area of the psychiatric child unit when I worked night shift because I find passive/aggressive's annoying. I chose not to interact, second-guess, or provide an outlet to these types. I learned to ignore and get through the crap shifts because I find hostile work environments not to my liking...